Q: I heard you used to be a Family Physician. Why do you now do Family Therapy?
A: That's true! During my long career as a family physician, I found that the root cause of much illness was not physical, but rather emotional, psychological and relationship issues. While I always worked to address these issues in my medical practice, after a period of personal soul-searching, I decided to re-direct my energies towards helping families heal these root issues through therapy.
After several years of additional training, I opened my Family Therapy practice. Since then, I've found great satisfaction empowering families to change their habitual patterns, stop fighting, and find joy in their key relationships. It's very rewarding work, helping people find healing!
Q: I have challenges and I'm not always happy, but I don't think I have "Depression" or "Anxiety." Isn't therapy overkill if I'm just... unsatisfied?
A: Not necessarily! A big part of therapy is about uncovering patterns, beliefs and habits that hold us back, and learning how to view things from a new perspective, and use more healthy and helpful tools. Whether you're suffering with a serious mental illness or just want your life to be less stressful and more joyful, therapy could help.
We always start with a short phone consultation, and then our first visit would be talking about a plan to help you achieve your goals-- so it certainly wouldn't hurt to get in touch and see what therapy might do for you!
Q: I'm not the one with the problem; my family members are impossible. What would therapy do for me?
A: Families operate as an emotional system, or unit-- so changing the perspective and behavior of just one person (you!) can actually have a big impact on how the system functions. You don't need to have your whole family come in, or to "change them," in order to improve how your family functions and how you feel about it.
Q: I think I might need Family Therapy because my spouse(/parent/child/sibling/loved one) is really difficult to get along with, but I don't think s/he will come to therapy with me. How could you possibly help?
A: Though it can sometimes be helpful, if they are willing to come with you--you DON'T need to bring your family members to therapy with you in order to experience positive change! My approach to family therapy is grounded in the understanding that a family is an emotional unit, in which the members are intensely connected emotionally.
In our work together, we will identify unhelpful roles and habits in the family or work relationship system that trigger and maintain problems, keeping you stuck. Then we will find creative ways to sidestep these influences in order to move forward, rather than staying stuck in blaming self or others.
You will develop more confidence, direction, and peace. You'll also grow stronger, deeper connections with those you love, and will naturally influence them towards healing and growth.
Truly, the functioning of a relationship can change when just one person makes changes.
Q: How often would I come to therapy?
A: Typically, for best results, I recommend that you attend weekly for 3 months, then weekly or bi-weekly for an additional 3-6 months. The goal is to give you the tools you need to succeed and then "graduate" you from therapy, NOT to keep you coming back forever. Every client and every journey is different, but most of my clients find that they get optimal results from our work together when they remain committed to the process for at least 6 months.
Q: How long will I need to be in therapy?
A: You won't need to be in therapy forever; the goal of therapy is to give you new understanding of your situation and teach you skills so that you are better able to manage things on an ongoing basis-- and once you have those skills, you "graduate" from therapy.
Massive change doesn't happen immediately, but after just your FIRST APPOINTMENT, you can expect to have increased clarity and sense of direction.
Q: I've had a few sessions and I feel SO MUCH BETTER. Should I stop coming?
A: After the first few sessions, people often have a sense of increased possibilities around the problematic issues. It is important to realize that although the "symptoms" have improved, the conditions that produced them are not yet gone.
The next stage is consolidating the gains, and working on changes that will prevent the same problems from arising. We will also strengthen your ability to recognize and resolve new issues in the early stages, before they become full-blown crises.
So, be patient. It's great that things feel better! Let's work on making sure that the next challenge doesn't throw you off the great course you're on.
Q: What does "confidentiality" really mean when it comes to therapy?
A: One of the ‘active ingredients’ of psychotherapy is the freedom to discuss anything, secure in the knowledge that your privacy will be protected.
All information about a client’s psychotherapy is confidential, except in situations where there is a threat or danger to life, including neglect or abuse of a child or an elderly person, and in other limited circumstances as defined by law.
I may occasionally find it helpful to consult about a case with another professional. In such consultations, I will make every effort to avoid revealing the identity of the client. The consultant is, of course, also legally bound to keep the information confidential.
With these exceptions, my privacy policy prohibits the release of any information concerning a client to anyone without the client’s explicit and informed written authorization.
Q: My family treats me like the "Black Sheep"-- they think all the conflict that happens is my fault. I don't think that's fair. What can I do? How would the kind of therapy you practice help me?
A: The current dominant societal paradigm is that problems are located in individuals, resulting in blaming and attempting to “fix” the person who is viewed as “the problem.” In contrast, Bowen therapists locate the problem in the family/relationship, and view the symptoms as the (less than perfect) solution that the family has come up with.
In seeking to find the balance between connection to others and developing our unique self, we often bounce between unhealthy ways of relating and lonely distance. This imbalance can show up as anxiety, depression, addictions, child behavior problems, relationship conflicts, or just not feeling satisfied.
In our work together, we will identify unhelpful roles and habits in the family that trigger and maintain such problems, keeping you stuck. Then we will find creative ways to sidestep these influences in order to move forward, rather than staying stuck in blaming self or others.
Q: My family relationships are good, but my work colleagues are driving me CRAZY. Could therapy help me?
A: Yes! In our work together, we will identify unhelpful roles and habits in the work relationship system that trigger and maintain such problems, keeping you stuck. Then we will find creative ways to sidestep these influences in order to move forward, rather than staying stuck in blaming self or others.
You will develop more confidence, direction, and peace. You'll also grow stronger, deeper connections with those you love, and will naturally influence them towards healing and growth.
A: That's true! During my long career as a family physician, I found that the root cause of much illness was not physical, but rather emotional, psychological and relationship issues. While I always worked to address these issues in my medical practice, after a period of personal soul-searching, I decided to re-direct my energies towards helping families heal these root issues through therapy.
After several years of additional training, I opened my Family Therapy practice. Since then, I've found great satisfaction empowering families to change their habitual patterns, stop fighting, and find joy in their key relationships. It's very rewarding work, helping people find healing!
Q: I have challenges and I'm not always happy, but I don't think I have "Depression" or "Anxiety." Isn't therapy overkill if I'm just... unsatisfied?
A: Not necessarily! A big part of therapy is about uncovering patterns, beliefs and habits that hold us back, and learning how to view things from a new perspective, and use more healthy and helpful tools. Whether you're suffering with a serious mental illness or just want your life to be less stressful and more joyful, therapy could help.
We always start with a short phone consultation, and then our first visit would be talking about a plan to help you achieve your goals-- so it certainly wouldn't hurt to get in touch and see what therapy might do for you!
Q: I'm not the one with the problem; my family members are impossible. What would therapy do for me?
A: Families operate as an emotional system, or unit-- so changing the perspective and behavior of just one person (you!) can actually have a big impact on how the system functions. You don't need to have your whole family come in, or to "change them," in order to improve how your family functions and how you feel about it.
Q: I think I might need Family Therapy because my spouse(/parent/child/sibling/loved one) is really difficult to get along with, but I don't think s/he will come to therapy with me. How could you possibly help?
A: Though it can sometimes be helpful, if they are willing to come with you--you DON'T need to bring your family members to therapy with you in order to experience positive change! My approach to family therapy is grounded in the understanding that a family is an emotional unit, in which the members are intensely connected emotionally.
In our work together, we will identify unhelpful roles and habits in the family or work relationship system that trigger and maintain problems, keeping you stuck. Then we will find creative ways to sidestep these influences in order to move forward, rather than staying stuck in blaming self or others.
You will develop more confidence, direction, and peace. You'll also grow stronger, deeper connections with those you love, and will naturally influence them towards healing and growth.
Truly, the functioning of a relationship can change when just one person makes changes.
Q: How often would I come to therapy?
A: Typically, for best results, I recommend that you attend weekly for 3 months, then weekly or bi-weekly for an additional 3-6 months. The goal is to give you the tools you need to succeed and then "graduate" you from therapy, NOT to keep you coming back forever. Every client and every journey is different, but most of my clients find that they get optimal results from our work together when they remain committed to the process for at least 6 months.
Q: How long will I need to be in therapy?
A: You won't need to be in therapy forever; the goal of therapy is to give you new understanding of your situation and teach you skills so that you are better able to manage things on an ongoing basis-- and once you have those skills, you "graduate" from therapy.
Massive change doesn't happen immediately, but after just your FIRST APPOINTMENT, you can expect to have increased clarity and sense of direction.
Q: I've had a few sessions and I feel SO MUCH BETTER. Should I stop coming?
A: After the first few sessions, people often have a sense of increased possibilities around the problematic issues. It is important to realize that although the "symptoms" have improved, the conditions that produced them are not yet gone.
The next stage is consolidating the gains, and working on changes that will prevent the same problems from arising. We will also strengthen your ability to recognize and resolve new issues in the early stages, before they become full-blown crises.
So, be patient. It's great that things feel better! Let's work on making sure that the next challenge doesn't throw you off the great course you're on.
Q: What does "confidentiality" really mean when it comes to therapy?
A: One of the ‘active ingredients’ of psychotherapy is the freedom to discuss anything, secure in the knowledge that your privacy will be protected.
All information about a client’s psychotherapy is confidential, except in situations where there is a threat or danger to life, including neglect or abuse of a child or an elderly person, and in other limited circumstances as defined by law.
I may occasionally find it helpful to consult about a case with another professional. In such consultations, I will make every effort to avoid revealing the identity of the client. The consultant is, of course, also legally bound to keep the information confidential.
With these exceptions, my privacy policy prohibits the release of any information concerning a client to anyone without the client’s explicit and informed written authorization.
Q: My family treats me like the "Black Sheep"-- they think all the conflict that happens is my fault. I don't think that's fair. What can I do? How would the kind of therapy you practice help me?
A: The current dominant societal paradigm is that problems are located in individuals, resulting in blaming and attempting to “fix” the person who is viewed as “the problem.” In contrast, Bowen therapists locate the problem in the family/relationship, and view the symptoms as the (less than perfect) solution that the family has come up with.
In seeking to find the balance between connection to others and developing our unique self, we often bounce between unhealthy ways of relating and lonely distance. This imbalance can show up as anxiety, depression, addictions, child behavior problems, relationship conflicts, or just not feeling satisfied.
In our work together, we will identify unhelpful roles and habits in the family that trigger and maintain such problems, keeping you stuck. Then we will find creative ways to sidestep these influences in order to move forward, rather than staying stuck in blaming self or others.
Q: My family relationships are good, but my work colleagues are driving me CRAZY. Could therapy help me?
A: Yes! In our work together, we will identify unhelpful roles and habits in the work relationship system that trigger and maintain such problems, keeping you stuck. Then we will find creative ways to sidestep these influences in order to move forward, rather than staying stuck in blaming self or others.
You will develop more confidence, direction, and peace. You'll also grow stronger, deeper connections with those you love, and will naturally influence them towards healing and growth.